400th post, and I’m alone again.

Toronto is crying

I know I’m not truly alone, because I have someone loving me, even if he is thousands of miles away. But I’m still going to allow myself to feel sorry for myself for at least this week. I can’t believe I allowed myself to forget how great it was being with him. Actually, I can. I’m so depressed now and constantly on the verge of crying so I can believe that I allowed myself to go numb just so I can function. What’s different this time around? I don’t want to say just yet because I don’t want to jinx anything as important as this.

Our last week together was almost as good as the first, the only minus being that he had to be away doing things for the wedding for a few days1. Most of the rest of the week was taken up by wedding stuff2 mentioned but it was great fun. The wedding was definitely memorable, and I was so proud to see him standing up near the altar as a groomsman. The reception was so much fun, and there was plenty of food and drink to be had.

We were so hung over the day after the wedding, we didn’t get up ’til after 2pm the next day. Lazy bones. Of course, we only got up to go to the bar to meet some friends too ;P but he’s on vacation and I was off on Monday so it was totally allowed. Monday we had to move out of the apartment, and were a little bit rushed so of course there were some tiny arguments because we both knew we didn’t want to leave each other.

I got my heart a little bit broken again yesterday but I’m going to be ok. I just have to get through this. I wish I didn’t, but I do. There were some really thoughtful things said yesterday that I’m a little bit glad to be going through this – even at the hardest times. I’m sure it only makes us stronger3.

  1. photos are coming but I can’t promise there’ll be people in the pictures I post up[]
  2. as I previously[]
  3. at least it better[]

responses to “400th post, and I’m alone again.” 14

  1. Pingback: fragileheart’s journal | As a matter of heart… » Flickr Friday: It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!
  2. @Trench: I didn’t think I’d ever feel strongly enough about anyone to want that. I wanted to live my life as a bachelor-ette forever, but I soon realised how lonely a life like that would make me since it’s not for everybody.

    @Michael: I wouldn’t put it that way, we’re both ready for commitment but we look at marriage as something that’s too important to ‘use’ just to get what you want. There are other methods to be in the same country, without having to get into legal things like marriage and possibly divorce. Besides, we’re both very young and I like that we’re level headed enough not to turn to using something like marriage just to get what we want. If you ask me, doing that is very immature behaviour.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comments links could be nofollow free.