So I realized something today, as I was filing all my documents that I need in filing my taxes for 2005. For some reason, I had a flash back of 1995 which ended up being the first, worst year for my love life.
I was young, and quite very popular with the boys… but he was tall, dark and ever so handsome. He was two years my senior and I was sure he was a player… so I ignored his attempts at flirting when he stole my scrunchie (Hey, I was 14… I was allowed no?) and tried to guess my phone number (small city, limited numbers) by asking me where I lived. It was so cute. I was told he was actually swooning over me. What caught my attention was when he asked a senior to give me a note during our morning assembly as we walked to our classroom.
(Assembly you say? I went to a British private school. Add that to living in a muslim country and of course the school wasn’t co-ed. And every morning we gathered in the compound, lined up in double file, section by section and year by year and sang our school’s national anthem… and I think we also sang the country’s national anthem, but I seem to have blocked that out of my memory.)
Anyway, we met at rehearsals for the school’s production of Joseph and the Technicolour dream coat, one of many productions I took part in during my years at that school. He really kept at me… and even bought me a CD to give me, for no reason (I’m swooning now!). And though I don’t really remember what finally made me decide to agree to go out with him, I did. Eventually.
We went for a movie, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, and he bought me a little koala (which I still have) with his colonge on it. I fell pretty hard. We had a great relationship for about a month and a half… and then he suddenly stopped calling. Or returning my phone calls. I finally caught up with him after school one day and he gave me some line about how his Dad wanted him to break up with me because his grades had dropped two whole points after we started dating.
The rest of the story is pretty complicated, but it eventually ended in 1997 when he graduated and was moving to Poland (he was half polish) for University, and I was moving to Canada. I remember receiving a call from him about 1/2 a year later telling me that he still loved me, and that he had always loved me. He apologized for all the times he had made me cry and for how he didn’t know how to deal with me when I was crying. It broke my heart… because all that time I thought I was just an idiot still being in love with him when he didn’t seem to feel the same. Looking back now, we never talked about getting back together… I never brought it up. I don’t wonder what if because the experience we had was a great one and I don’t think I would change a thing.
The one thing I would change? Is knowing where he is now. We kept in touch for years after that, calling each other for Christmas, our birthdays, Valentines day… just to say hello and how much we missed each other.
So what’s the coincidence? Well… 2005 was a pretty shit year for me too. *He* left me to go back home… and broke my heart for good. The coincidence is the existence of the “5” at the end of each year that seemed to mark heart-breaking times for me. It’s just a little creepy, to say the least. I guess the true test would be to see what happens in 2015? I can only hope there’s nothing worse than what I felt in 2005.