English Pronunciation

Katia Millar posted a link to this article on facebook and I just had to try it out but it wouldn’t be any fun if there were no witnesses.

Listen to Reggy reading “English Pronunciation” by G. Nolst Trenité

Just in case you’d rather read the words off my blog, here you are:

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

— written by G. Nolst Trenité

I made a lot of mistakes along the way but this was a lot of fun to record. I’m sure I could’ve cheated and tried again but I already got to cheat twice because people called in the middle of my first two tries.

Also, just in case you’re wondering: I was listening to Graydon James & The Young Novelists and that’s who you can hear in the background. The fan sound is from the kitchen exhaust.

If you happened to do the same and you’ve recorded yourself reading this out loud, please leave a link in the comments so I can follow along!

Flickr Friday: Not pink today

Balcony boys and the stage

A few months ago a good friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go see the Jason Mraz concert in October; I agreed even though I wasn’t a fan of his music1. Despite being on a school night2, I had a great time. Jason Mraz is quirky, charming, expressive and extremely talented. My favourite will always be John Mayer but I am glad I didn’t miss out on Wednesday night’s concert.

I like this photo because it shows you the quirky kind of stuff that Jason Mraz does at his concerts3. The three brass players would wander around the entire stage for most of the night, but for this particular song they came up to the balcony and played facing the stage. It was awesome!

I also like the entire set of pictures from the evening because it’ll forever be a positive reminder that trying new things is the only way to live life!

Do you try new things or do you let the fear take control?

  1. actually, I’m not a nonfan… I just didn’t listen to him per se[]
  2. work night[]
  3. not that I would be an expert since this was my first one[]

Flickr Friday: Chicago Airport

Chicago AirportWow, what a boring title. A lot of my older photos will have boring titles because I simply didn’t care – and I’ve been too lazy to change them. So you’re stuck with this one. This photo was taken when I had a 6+ hour layover in Chicago Airport on one of my many trips to Dublin, Ireland. I chose it for today’s Flickr Friday in celebration of the fact that I will be booking my trip to Dublin for New Year’s!

It’s not a long standing tradition, but it’s been a tradition since I met him in 2004 that our group of friends celebrates New Year’s by driving to another part of Ireland, rentind holiday homes and partying for 3-4 days. Since I had already gone over for a holiday in May, I didn’t think I was going to be going this New Year’s but his recent visit over made me realise that it was insane of me not to do so. We1 don’t have many more years before doing this sort of thing is out of the question. Once marriage and families come into the picture it’s harder to gather a group of our size and go away and party for 3 days straight.

Already this year, one couple from the group will not be able to make it since they’ll be in the U.S., and they’ll be sorely missed – but the show must go on. I only hope its worth it; I was originally planning on only going for 7 days but as it turns out the flights are cheaper if I stay for 10 days. Of course that means I’ll end up spending more money because I’ll be there longer – but hopefully it won’t be too bad.

Oops, I guess I should talk about the photo a little bit: I felt quite lucky getting this photo, and if you read the comment that afewscoops left on the photo page you’ll know why. It was taken in 2005 so security should have been strict, but I was still able to snap this beauty. Its not as clear as I would like it but I still like it. I hope you do too!

  1. the group[]

The life of a judge on Mr. Entrecard

*disclaimer: Most of what you are about to read is true, some of it is a lie. Distinguishes have been made by way of footnotes.

When Debbie first asked for volunteers to be judges on the contest; everyone told me there would be no glory in becoming a judge for Mr. Entrecard but I think I they were wrong1. The Mr. Entrecard competition showed me things. Some of these things were exciting, some were unbearable but all of these things taught me some valuable lessons.

The most important of all is that everyone is beautiful inside, everyone is funny, everyone is smart and everyone is sweet if you only gave them a chance. The problem is that some people tend to judge you as well and decide which ‘side’ of them self they want to show you. It becomes difficult to allow them to show their other side as well and you’re both stuck in the cycle of being mean to each other. But I know better now.

The second lesson is that sometimes some people really are, just who they say they are and it’s obvious whether you’re reading their words anonymously or talking to them face to face2. And I’m grateful for those people because they make the Entrecard forums such a pleasant place to be in.

The last lesson I will divulge is that I’m not very smart; in that my memory really sucks, and my reading ability is extremely selective. Our wonderful founder Debbie had asked for prizes, and I missed it. She had also asked for people to put in suggestions for questions and I missed it. I’m not sure what’s causing it, but I do know I need to get my eyes checked again soon. But anyway, I hope I’m not stepping on any toes but even though I didn’t offer up any prizes I’m linking the winner on my blog as well3.

Naturally, I can’t talk about a contest and not tell you who the winners were… so without further ado:

Acadia, the male half of the brilliant duo over at Superficial Gallery

Ken Armstrong, Irish Playwright/Author and Aldon of Orient Lodge4!

Congratulations to the winners! Everyone that participated was amazing for being the great sports for answering the questions so honestly5.

  1. this is a complete fabrication, no one said this it has been added for ‘effect’ of the story[]
  2. so to speak, more like byte to byte I guess[]
  3. a link in my blogroll actually[]
  4. and his own tiara[]
  5. because even if you didn’t take it seriously, you never once made fun of the people asking the questions and for that I applaud you![]