Happy Birthday my loves <3

Jackie and I were partners in crime at Victoria Park Secondary School way back when… when I look back on my favourite vacations she is always there. I have two: One when I went to visit her in LA and when I went to visit her in Holbox, Mexico. Jackie, you are my soul mate and I wouldn’t have it any other way (except maybe I wish we could be physically closer to each other for a larger chunk of each year but one day… right?)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE!

Albert and I got tattoos together in 2005 and we haven’t looked back. I wasn’t sure whether you wanted to be displayed in public so I picked a photo that hid most of yer face 🙂 But know that I am not ashamed to call you my friend because you’re one of the best friends I could have ever asked for. I’m happy you and Barb are in my life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIR! 😉

Joanna Haughton: one of the hardest working women I know

She writes everyday, takes care of a handful of a baby girl, keeps a wonderful home for her rock star1 husband and manages to look amazing the entire time. Joanna Haughton is an actress, tv hostess and martial artist. I met her through Victoria Murdoch2 and am so glad I have her in my life.

She started writing her blog, Moda Mama, not long after she gave birth to her beautiful baby girl. She recently finished an 85 dress challenge, where3 she had to wear a different dress for 85 days without repeating one. It was partially a way to try to see what she could get rid of from her closet and also a challenge to herself to put together different looks.

I’ve been meaning to write about her since she started the 85 dress challenge but there has been a lot going on in life that kept me from writing on this blog4. If you like fashion delivered by a quirky but amazing sense of humour, visit Moda Mama and get hooked.

Footnotes:
  1. tee hee[]
  2. who is another one who falls into the category of ‘hardest working women I know’[]
  3. just in case it wasn’t clear[]
  4. at all[]

I should be jogging

I should be jogging but I’m feeling extremely reflective this Sunday Morning so I’m doing something I haven’t done in a long time – blogging! Life has taken on a wonderful turn. I’m living the perfect single life right now and I couldn’t be happier. I just checked with myself and I am not even as lonely as I thought I would be. The truth is, I have people. I may not have a person, but I have people who fulfill that one person in their various ways.

Don’t get me wrong, it still feels like something is missing but I think that it’s good for me to continue being single for a while, even though I decided to start dating again. I like having one person to turn to whenever I need some sympathy but with Twitter around, I have that one person. Except that one person is actually in the hundreds1. Add to that real-life meetings2 and what more could a girl really ask for? Oh right,3 satisfaction – not to worry, I have that covered too.

Then there are those sort of activities that you would normally only experience with a significant other; partially because of the chemistry between male & female whilst they execute these activities4 like going out to nice dinners and making delicious, gourmet dinners together and enjoying lots and lots of wine. I can enjoy these things, knowing that these people are not expecting sex from me. Do you have any idea how wonderful it feels to hang out with guys and feel that they love you and yet know that they’re not going to try to sleep with you? It feel fan-freakin’-tastically amazing.

Every since I hit puberty, all the boys want to talk to me and they stare and they call and whatever. But in all honesty, they can all go fuck themselves because they rarely actually care or cared about me as a person. Naturally, I envied ‘the cute’ one in the group because the boys who liked them did so because they were interested in hanging out with them and having a real relationship with them. When I was younger, I was insecure and I gave in to their wants to try to get them to like me, and hopefully get to know me. Ask me if that worked out, eff no. ‘The cute’ one in the group would tell me to shut up because at least I could get laid and all the boys wanted to do was spend time with them… I didn’t even know what to say to that so I just stared with my mouth a-gape.

So I might as well spell it out. If you’re thinking about it… You are SOL5 unless you and I become best friends first and I’m still attracted to you after that; because this shop is on fort knox mode, permanentemente.

Footnotes:
  1. no, not in age you doof[]
  2. aka Tweetups[]
  3. sexual[]
  4. get your mind out of the gutter, I’m not talking about sex – we just covered that[]
  5. “shit out of luck” for those of you who needed that[]

Should I stay or should I go, now?

I’m at peace these days. At least in my personal life1. And oh how I wish it would stay this way for a very long time. I’m still recovering from some of the trauma2 I’ve been through recently… but at least I’m able to begin to even make an attempt to move on. The boy has come back into the picture, but he can no longer affect me as strongly as he used to. I’m sure it helps that I keep him at a distance. He has made attempts to contact me but I just can’t risk going back there.

That’s where old friends come in and rescue you. And I don’t even mean rescue in the romantic sense. Simply that they show you how great you are to some people. Someone who has been trying to rescue you for quite some time now… but you were resistent because of some reason that you can’t even remember right now. There was too much worrying about things that never would have mattered to the person I was worrying about in the first place. There was definitely way too much of allowing someone else to influence what I was doing with myself, my heart, myself.

But what this intro-turned-tangent is this: Why can’t I stay happy with my current situation? Why do I need things to change? What worked for me just a couple of months ago, will not cut it now. And I have this tiny fear that I won’t be able to hold on to this peace that I have found. Or maybe I should just shut it and be happy that I find peace at all, albeit periodically.

Any thoughts?

Footnotes:
  1. Don’t get me wrong, work is going very well – I’m just really stressed while there[]
  2. I can’t think of any other word to use to describe it[]