Feeling worse

Sometimes it can be the smallest things.

I spent all morning mindlessly applying for jobs on one those websites (you know them). I’d be very surprised if I get one of those jobs but I mainly did it to pass the time. Yes. I’m sitting at home, hungover feeling sorry for myself but I don’t care today. I’m tired of booking on the bright side of trying to find the positive things in my life.

A friend of mine, Jane1, is a designer. Something I wanted to be – but wasn’t accepted into the program at the school that I went to. Why didn’t I try to get into the college that she went to? Because I had no money to go to College/University. My Mum works for a University, and one of the perks of that job is that she and all her dependents get to study for free. And that’s the only way I’ve been able to ‘afford’ a University education.

Anyway, back to my friend. Jane and her husband (strike 1 – she’s already found her soul mate) have their own design company (strike 2) and a Alice1, good friend of mine asked her to create the advertising materials for her very first play (strike 3). See, if I were in Alice’s position I’d have asked Jane too, because after all she’s the professional. But it still hurts.

I need a day off work to get my head straight… and am considering taking another sick day, but we’ll see. I can also opt to take a paid day off, but that’ll mean that I’ll get paid less when I go home at the end of April.

Bah humbug. I hate money.

  1. name has been changed to protect the innocent[][]

responses to “Feeling worse” 3

  1. Hey April! Welcome back online! What’s twitter? How do I comment? lol I feel so out of the loop! Ireland has de-geeked me – HELP!! I want to find my way back!

  2. Don’t feel blue. Cuz guess what? My personal blog is BACK and in the full swing of things. Visit blog.femtique.net. Oh! It’s my birthday too.

  3. Sigh, shhhhh! Hush your crying now Reggy… the road is long and you’ve only just begun my sweet friend. Just live the moments. Life comes in seasons for a reason. Someday the time will come when you have more perspective on the road and you really will know what your strengths are and know best how to play those cards, but until then just drink deeply from the cup in front of you… don’t worry about the next cup right now. “Be alive” it’s Spring, and you’re in the Spring of your life. Money is a worry for the Summer of your life, “love” is the subject of spring.

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