Getting a bit anxious

I’ve been on emergency tax for about 5 weeks because I had switched jobs and you’re required to present a new tax certificate to the Payroll company so that they know how much to actually tax you. I finally got it back this pay period but it all went by in a flash as I had to pay *him* back and pay my share of the electricity bill, and transfer money into the Canadian account so that I could pay my other bills.

Because I’ve been on emergency tax, I’ve had to cut down on social outings and basically haven’t really been out for quite a while. And also, because I’ve been on emergency tax I haven’t been able to put money aside to purchase my flight home in April for Ashlea’s wedding. I’m getting anxious because I’m getting lonely not being able to enjoy some social interaction and also because I’m panicking that I won’t be able to afford the ticket home if I wait to buy it any longer.

Also, I’m only on a temporary contract at the moment which ends around late March/early April and I still haven’t figured out what I want to do next. Paul, from work says that he has connections in my industry and if I wanted he could probably get me a job doing Event Management which would be pretty sweet… but I’m really not sure I want to get back into hotels (politics get in the way of actual progress much more than they do at any other establishment in the industry).

Argh!! I’m so anxious I feel like I’m suffocating… and it’s making me want to go home which is ridiculous because I’ve never been the type to run away when things start getting rough. But I’m thinking back on how things have worked out here and that’s my instant reaction to everything! Look at what I did with the hotel I was working for? I mean c’mon!! I never would’ve done that before! I would’ve faced it head on… but I quit instead? Really not like me. But at the same time it really did feel like the right thing to do. Oh I don’t know. My mind is one big jumble at the moment.

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