Goodbye 2009

Two thousand and nine. What a heck of a year. Sure, nothing significant happened until May of this year but it pretty much snowballed from there. I move out of my parents’ place and quickly learned what it means to really use your toiletries1. It has certainly made me look at money in a very different way than I ever used to. I still own a lot of different bottles of whatever but most of it are from clothing swaps2. At first I got saddened by the reality of my “poverty”3, but I quickly realised how much worse it could be and that this was the price I was paying for my independence. Not that I ever had issues with independence when I was living with my parents in the sense that they were very trusting and allowed me to come and go as I pleased BUT they were also always around to bail me out4.

So even though I’ve had this resolution for the last few years, I know that thanks to the consumer proposal I filed earlier this year I will actually be able to say that I have made a dent in the debts that I owe.

The next significant thing to happen, was not a pleasant event in the least but I would be lying if I said that nothing good came from it. Breaking up is always hard to do but I think it definitely gave me the courage to be open with what I want, and5 begin being honest with myself about what I want. I don’t know how I managed to do it but even in the five years I was in my last relationship I learned to be sure enough of myself to know that it’s okay to want what I want, and that I may even deserve it. I’m not sure when it started but every relationship I started, started with doubt for me. I doubted myself, and what I had to offer a relationship and the person I was in the relationship with. Naturally, I didn’t want to freak out the guy I just started seeing so I never said anything and held it all in. What a way to start a relationship right?

Well, the next resolution for this year would be to not be in a relationship unless it really makes sense for both of us6. If I’m not ready, and he is then too bad because I’m not ready. If I’m ready and he’s not, then too bad because he’s not ready. I can only hope that I am able to only keep dating people who are able to be honest with themselves and with me so that I can keep this resolution. I realise this might be a really hard one to keep since it relies on other people but that’s another thing I think I need to learn to do: rely on people.

I don’t like to rely on people because, people can let you down. But more often than not they actually surprise and delight you, but only if you let them. So resolution number 37 is to let people in.

Many people have told me about friends of theirs who have regaled stories or have told me themselves about how the 28th year of their life was a significant one for them. I felt it before anyone said anything to me the night I turned 28 and I’m feeling it even more as the months pass by. And as many of you know, I desire to make the world better for5 the people I care about the most8 and I figured that I can only do that by first taking care of myself. So yes, these resolutions are about me. But they’re about all of you indirectly.

And with that I just want to say thanks to you for still being here through this turmoil I’ve been through in the last little while9. I hope that your 2009 was a memorable one – whether there were hardships or not – and that it only helped you become the wonderful person I know that you are10. I hope too that the beginning of the next decade brings nothing but prosperity, love and understanding for you and everyone you love.

What are some of your New Year’s resolutions?

Footnotes:
  1. to the very last drop[]
  2. yes, we bring more than just clothes[]
  3. obviously, this is a horrible word to use because at least I still have a roof over my head and food in my belly but can I please have this one… just this once??[]
  4. financially[]
  5. at the very least[][]
  6. myself and whoever this dude might be[]
  7. for those keeping track[]
  8. uh, yes I realise I tend to care a lot about a lot of people[]
  9. even though you don’t comment, I know you’ve been here so thank you[]
  10. and don’t you dare let anyone tell you otherwise[]

responses to “Goodbye 2009” 6

  1. Very insightful.

    It’s getting people to be honest and actually say “I’m not ready” that is the hard part. Or they think they are…but they’re not…or quit mid way. (I think you already know that) you can only control yourself and your own awareness. That’s what matters in the end anyway.

    Funny enough, my resolution (before new year’s) was to let people in and it’s been met with great success so I’m sticking with that one.

    Happy New Year! Hope it’s a wonderful wonderful year for you!

  2. In my world, I don’t like to make resolutions. I just take everything as it comes and expect anything in between 🙂

    Happy New Year & hugs from far away 🙂

  3. @Erin: Happy New Year!! Thank you 🙂

    @Penny: I’ve really missed you too (like you wouldn’t believe!!), we both seem to have kind of lost track of certain things this year (at least with blogging) and I’m looking forward to getting back on track with them.

  4. Happy New Year Reg! I can relate to a lot of what you’ve written here.

    1) I am in the same situation in that I can’t waste, and I can’t just buy things anymore. I don’t treat myself much now, and it makes me sad when I think about it. But when I really think about it I think it’s great because it teaches you not to waste and not to be excessive. And I’ve learnt quickly that I can get by on very little which is great.

    2) It’s good that you’ve come to realise that about yourself, and you’ll be so much stronger for putting your relationship plans into action. I have also started relationships with the same doubt, I really related to you when you said that, especially since that’s something I’d never even realised about myself!

    3) I want to let people in too. In blogging and in real life. I’ve decided to start blogging more again because I really miss people like you!!

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