Gut feelings & hope

I’m sure there are people out there who don’t believe in gut feelings. People who like to think of themselves as being able to control their emotions rather than have their emotions control them. Rational. Logical. Whatever.

There’s a chain of events1, that occurs: An idea runs through your mind, and then there’s this feeling attached to it. Usually, this feeling either indicates whether that idea is a good or a bad one. Every now and then, it tells you you’re right on the freakin’ money.

So why is it that sometimes, even when your gut tells you that something is a bad idea – you go right for it anyway? You know why? Hope. You hope that something is different this time. You hope that you were wrong. You hope that maybe, just maybe this actually is the answer. But you know what? You’re an idiot. Hope is a coping mechanism. It isn’t real.

I have to say I’m a little surprised at myself with that statement… but it is how I feel. Or am I just telling myself this to avoid disappointment.

I don’t know anymore2.

  1. for lack of a better word[]
  2. when I am ready to stop talking in code, I will[]

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