Lost but organised

I finally buckled down and organised my room tonight. I’ve been dying to do it since before I left for Mexico but life would always get in the way1. And I was hoping I would feel better, but I’m still a little bit lost. I seem to have used that description when referring to myself a lot in the last few months… I guess I’m not working hard enough to find myself. Or maybe, I actually like being lost.

I’ve always been the type who needed to feel in control2 but ever since my (for lack of a better term) rebirth while living in Dublin, I haven’t really felt as much need to be in control of very much. Sure, I still like things done a certain way and I certainly still like having a place for everything and everything in its place but I so don’t let things upset me unless I actually have control over them.

Why do I have to have all the answers anyway? I honestly wish I had the sense to be ok with being lost when I was younger because it’s more acceptable to be ‘soul searching’ when you’re not almost 30.  To which I say.. bullshit!3 So what if I’m 28 in a couple of months and still haven’t the faintest idea what I want to be ‘when I grow up’ or even have the faintest idea what I want to be doing right now?

No really… what could possibly go wrong?

Footnotes:
  1. not that I’m complaining, I enjoyed every distraction that came along![]
  2. yes, I was totally a Type A… except when it came to school *shrug*[]
  3. how I miss playing that card game. Tell me you know said game? If you don’t, we’re going out and we’re going to play. Right. Now![]

responses to “Lost but organised” 8

  1. That’s funny, I’ve been feeling that exact emotion myself, thinking about life and what I’m supposed to be doing with it. I think traveling tends to bring those kinds of thoughts out. I’m not sure.
    .-= Ben´s last blog ..Comment by Benjimester =-.

  2. Amen! I think being lost, out of control, and confused is the most natural thing in the world. No one person can know or do everything; those who think they can are living in a fantasy land that’s bound to get shattered.

    I also think the best solution to not knowing what to do when I grow up is to never grow up.
    .-= Phronk´s last blog ..The Beatles: Colonoscopy =-.

  3. Thanks everyone 🙂 I guess what I mean is that I still have no idea what is going to ‘fulfill’ me in this life!!

  4. LOL! Darlin’, I’m 51 and still don’t what I want to be when I “grow up.” There are way too many interesting things to learn in life to be stuck in one little box! Just enjoy it all! 🙂
    .-= Kelly´s last blog ..Fractal No. 114 =-.

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