I finally buckled down and organised my room tonight. I’ve been dying to do it since before I left for Mexico but life would always get in the way1. And I was hoping I would feel better, but I’m still a little bit lost. I seem to have used that description when referring to myself a lot in the last few months… I guess I’m not working hard enough to find myself. Or maybe, I actually like being lost.
I’ve always been the type who needed to feel in control2 but ever since my (for lack of a better term) rebirth while living in Dublin, I haven’t really felt as much need to be in control of very much. Sure, I still like things done a certain way and I certainly still like having a place for everything and everything in its place but I so don’t let things upset me unless I actually have control over them.
Why do I have to have all the answers anyway? I honestly wish I had the sense to be ok with being lost when I was younger because it’s more acceptable to be ‘soul searching’ when you’re not almost 30. To which I say.. bullshit!3 So what if I’m 28 in a couple of months and still haven’t the faintest idea what I want to be ‘when I grow up’ or even have the faintest idea what I want to be doing right now?
No really… what could possibly go wrong?