Selfish

It’s hard for us not to be. We’re told that in order to look after others, we must first look after ourselves. But where do we draw the line?

I’ve a million thoughts running through my head, and I can’t find any peace and quiet to do any real thinking. For a while, I was centered. At least I felt centered. But lately… I just seem to be all over the place. Nothing seems to be coming easily to me. Not even cooking. Cooking became my sanctuary since I moved here because I couldn’t sing on my way home from work like I did back home. But since I didn’t think that people on Dublin busses would appreciate a free song as much as people on the Toronto subway sometimes do, I have no choice really.

I’ve been able to sing a little bit at my house, but it’s not as good. But I don’t even know if that’s the problem. I have no drive, again. I don’t even have the drive to clean (this is bad). My birthday is coming up in a few days and all I can think about is all the bad things that have happened around my birthday. All my birthday’s haven’t been bad, I just seem to keep focusing on all the bad things that may have happened, even if they weren’t necessarily the biggest thing about that birthday.

Bah. I don’t know.

responses to “Selfish” 4

  1. Well I just figured out why I couldn’t leave you comments… seems you have to create a wordpress account to leave comments now… Ok so here my handle will be “likeawisp” now. (I should have tried “Greggy” .-)
    Anyway,
    I just wanted to wish you a sweet and beautiful birthday today Reggy… I’ve been dropping these off to you for 9 years now, and each time I find I’ve come to know you just a little bit more! I read what you write… I walk and think about your words.. then I sigh or smile. But at some point I still always close my eyes and imagine a young woman riding free on her white stallion plunging through the snow – with her long dark hair flying wild in the wind!
    Happy Birthday sweet lady
    Thinking of you always,
    Greg
    Greggy for you ~

  2. Well it’s after midnight… and for the 9th year (sometimes a day or two late, and sometimes a day or two early.) I’m wishing you a very happy birthday Reggy! As always I’m wishing all good things to you on your speacial day!
    Always ~
    Greggy

  3. happy advance bday dearie, just in case i forget. 😀 i so look forward to seeing you on december. let’s do something special okay? not just the regular dinner and stuff. something different. what do you miss from here? or what would you like to experience? as long as time and budget permits, let’s go and explore!

    if you want to sing, sing. it doesn’t matter if no-one listens. the person who it’s for is you anyway. and if it makes someone else’s day,that’s just an added plus. 😀

    smile.

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