I’m at peace these days. At least in my personal life1. And oh how I wish it would stay this way for a very long time. I’m still recovering from some of the trauma2 I’ve been through recently… but at least I’m able to begin to even make an attempt to move on. The boy has come back into the picture, but he can no longer affect me as strongly as he used to. I’m sure it helps that I keep him at a distance. He has made attempts to contact me but I just can’t risk going back there.
That’s where old friends come in and rescue you. And I don’t even mean rescue in the romantic sense. Simply that they show you how great you are to some people. Someone who has been trying to rescue you for quite some time now… but you were resistent because of some reason that you can’t even remember right now. There was too much worrying about things that never would have mattered to the person I was worrying about in the first place. There was definitely way too much of allowing someone else to influence what I was doing with myself, my heart, myself.
But what this intro-turned-tangent is this: Why can’t I stay happy with my current situation? Why do I need things to change? What worked for me just a couple of months ago, will not cut it now. And I have this tiny fear that I won’t be able to hold on to this peace that I have found. Or maybe I should just shut it and be happy that I find peace at all, albeit periodically.