I feel like I’ve gone back in time, but now have the maturity to appreciate starting at the beginning again. I haven’t quite confronted why it is that I’m doing this, and the strangest thing is that I don’t even feel any urgent need to.
We were finally able to have our talk, and the outcome was quite logical and really for the best. Although he brought it up and I agreed without even really thinking whether it was what I really wanted because I was so hungover that I couldn’t really think straight… now that I’ve had time to process, it’s the best way. We’re taking things slow. And to take things one step further, I decided to treat it like it’s a brand new relationship… and what a difference.
After a month of being here and being together (almost by default), I was beginning to have some serious questions brewing in my head, to the point where, when I didn’t hear from him in almost four days prior to our agreed discussion day I began to have some serious doubts and was extremely depressed. I was considering breaking up with him because that’s not what I came here for… but things are just much better now. I’m still not quite sure he really is what I want, but I do know that there is something about him that’s made me love him for this long… and if taking it slow is what’s going to take to make either of us realize what we really want, then it’s well worth it.
I’m really glad I moved here, because if anything this trip is furthering my lesson in patience. Sorry for the long lag in posting, I’m still working on getting Internet 😀