If you looked at my list of ‘friends’ on facebook, you’d find yourself looking at a list of over 350+ people. Of course, if you know facebook then you know that this means absolutely nothing. Even still, people often think of me as someone who has a lot of friends… and I do… but I don’t have those friends who I lean on, who I call without thinking, who I hang out with without asking, who I would call when I’m bawling my eyes out without worrying about bothering them or who I know will help me with my wedding (should I ever decide to have one). I don’t even really have one person who fits half of those categories.
As I’m typing this, one male friend comes to mind who I’m sure will attest that he can be all that for me… but it’s not the same. With male friends, there’s always the chance that they’re doing it because they’re attracted to you (don’t argue with me on this, I have a whole blog post coming on this topic in the future). With female friends, if it happens that they do become attracted to you it’ll come from a deeper place than it would with male friends. But that’s not going off topic… so back we go.
Of late, I’ve had the pleasure of partying and hanging out with two different groups of women who seem to keep in contact with each other without effort (without thinking, as mentioned above). Luckily, there is at least one woman in each group who always thinks of me whenever a gathering is being planned… but I wouldn’t say I’m any closer to having that best friend I’ve been looking for. Sometimes (and very fleetingly), I curse my parents for not giving me a sister after my brother!
There was a friend I felt a similar connection with while I was in Uni, and I’ve written about her before… but we’re from two different worlds and I know it’ll never be what I’m looking for. But I did want to mention it because she still means the world to me – even if she’s not the (sister-I-never-had-all-time) best friend I’m looking for.
Now, (I don’t really want to say anything about this because I don’t know how she feels on the subject but) there is one female friend I made while I was in Ireland who I get on with very well. She’s the only one who’s really kept in touch with me since I’ve left, and she was the only one who would make contact with me every week just to chat. I miss her terribly. Is it weird to hope that someone becomes your bestfriend?
I blame this post on the movies I’ve seen recently themed around weddings, bestfriends (such as 27 dresses) and the like… you can too (blame, that is).