Flickr Friday: Unfamiliar

I have been making a lot of changes in my life: I moved out of my parents house, I changed jobs, I forced myself to keep in touch with more people and be more social; I changed my diet and lost a bit of weight; I picked up an exercise-type activity… and I’m not sure that I’m done changing.

I chose this photo because during the March 2009 edition of 26 Things for the word: unfamiliar. At the time, taking the subway was not a normal thing for me. It was foreign. These days, it’s how I get around. I miss driving, but I enjoy walking around and living close enough to things that I can walk to and from places. In heels.

I used to hate taking the subway to school when I was living in Scarborough because it was crowded, smelly and I had a huge ass backpack that I wasn’t allowed to keep on my back1. But these days… it’s one of the things I’m truly grateful for. I only wonder what unfamiliar thing I will come to love in days to come.

It helps to think of things like this when you feel like you’re not sure about things. And it reminds you that maybe… just maybe it’s ok to take risks sometimes. Now, I know… I know what you’re thinking. “Risks? WTF? You stopped driving2 and started taking the subway – what freakin’ risks were you taking?”

I’m talking about moving out of the safety of my parents’ home, where they were there to save me from myself at a moments notice. I’ve always felt independent but it’s not the same until you actually live on your own and have to fend for yourself. I still don’t consider myself that independent because I still get a lot of handouts from my3 mother who can’t resist but buy me some food when she goes grocery shopping4. And to that end, I guess I’ll never be truly independent because she’ll always be my Mum and she’ll always be who she is.

But anyway… I’m getting off track. I’m living a different life than I have for the last 27 and I’m happy for it. All I want to know is,

Is there something in your life that you can’t live without, but you never thought you’d be so glad to have?

Footnotes:
  1. where it was most comfortable[]
  2. had to, I couldn’t keep the car that belonged to my Dad[]
  3. very Filipina[]
  4. she doesn’t buy everything but even one onion is help in my eyes and so it doesn’t count[]

Change is good

There has been a lot going on in my head lately. Too much to try and distinguish what should be written down and what shouldn’t. Or rather what should be read by others and what should be kept to myself. We finally have an internet connection at the new apartment so I can write when I feel like and publish as soon as I want to. Of course, my previous method of blogging shouldn’t have been affected by the lack of internet connection except that apparently I’m too lazy to save my notepad draft on a USB key so I can publish a post when I get to work.

My heart left for Dublin almost 7 days ago and I miss him dearly. I had been feeling a little disconnected from the whole relationship for a while1 and while I’m not completely sure where I want to go with this blog… I’m finally ready to start talking again. I haven’t been absent due to a lack of something to say, I always have something to say but I needed to find a change.

Moving into the apartment helped except that I’m still relying on my parents a little bit2 and I don’t feel like I’m where I want to be but I’m on the way. I’ve got my tickets, my bags and I’m on the train but I hadn’t realised how long the journey was going to be. I can see that my stop is near though… I just hope there isn’t a detour on the route.

I’m registered with a few employment agencies and one lady in particular was really positive that she wouldn’t have a problem finding me a new position. After about a month or so, she has sent me three job positions and I’ve been selected for an interview with two of them. One was last Tuesday and the other one is this coming Friday. I’m going to keep the details to myself for now because of my belief that I could jinx things by telling too many people. I know it’s silly, but it’s my belief.

Right now I’m trying to figure out how to be more patient. More patient than I’ve already¬† become since my teenage years. My room mate has a friend over and they have taken over 2 hours to get ready and leave the house. I could have started to make breakfast while they were here but I am a little annoyed that it felt like they were waiting for me to make breakfast, and when I wasn’t doing it they decided to go out for breakfast instead. I don’t like being assumed into a role, even if it is the role I prefer to be in.

But all in all, life is pretty good. Transition is good, but I’ll be happier when I get settled.

How have you all been?

Footnotes:
  1. which partly explains my recent, and very extended absence from blogging[]
  2. I’m borrowing the car until I feel capable of getting work via public transport[]

Change

This summer is going to be about change. No matter how we try and fight it. Our lives will never be the same, just like they haven’t been the same since last summer ended. It’s be a fantastic ride but we knew that being our last year, they’d never be the same again. I think each time we went out, we knew and subtly we treasured each moment we shared. I know I will treasure each moment as the summer continues and each of us moves on, almost one by one, to our new paths.

Kelly1 is leaving in 9 days. I’m sad again.

Footnotes:
  1. name has been changed to protect the innocent[]