The importance of self-love

[Only because I haven’t talked about this kind of stuff since the condom reviews, I feel like I should warn you… the subject matter is sexual. Consider yourself warned]

I was raised Roman Catholic. No one taught me about sex. I discovered everything I know about that subject all on my own. Okay maybe I had the the help of a few people1. Despite all the ‘experience’ I had though, I didn’t really discover the benefits of self-love2 until a few years ago. Benefits that I am happily taking advantage of due to a combination of a recent change in my situation, as well as the realization that I am no longer interested in being intimate with any warm body.

Recently, I got to be Joanna‘s plus one at a really fun event3 and while we were sipping champagne and browsing through their awesome selection we got to talking about masturbating and how important it is for so many reasons. It’s an important part of knowing your body; knowing how to please yourself and when the time comes, knowing how to help someone else please you. It’s also a wonderful buffer to prevent yourself from becoming intimate with the wrong person.

I have to be honest that the appeal of playing with only myself was never there for me. When you consider the fact that I have never had an issue finding someone who was willing to ‘do the job’4 it’s easy to understand why. Now that I’m in my 30s though, ‘the game’ has gotten so old and having to rely on someone else has become far less appealing. Sure, I still enjoy a long play session with someone worthwhile from time to time but it actually makes it more fun if those long sessions aren’t as frequent as they used to be. Even better that in between I get to enjoy some quality time with myself.

There is one other benefit that I wish I had known about while I was in my 20s. Since I am no longer plagued by this problem, I can freely talk about the fact that when I was in my 20s I often found it difficult to avoid getting intimate with someone too soon. I don’t regret anything I did, by any means, but I’m certainly glad I was able to change that about myself. Things never work out the way I want when i sleep with someone on the first, or even the second date.

It isn’t until recently that I discovered how integral it5 is to preventing pre-mature intimacy when you’re still getting to know someone. I mean… all those dates I went on when I was feeling lonely or horny and I decided to sleep with the guy on the first date just because I had an itch that needed to be scratched? I just think about all the heart-break6 that could have been avoided… and I do feel bad. However, It’s my policy not to live with regret though; learn the lesson and move on, right?

Some people might think it’s sad, but I really don’t think it has to be. I think it’s a great supplement to a healthy sex-life. I even know some people who are incapable of pleasing themselves on their own, and I think it’s really unfortunate. But everyone has their own problems… who am I to judge?

Screen Shot 2016-03-20 at 22.51.41

Now more than ever, I’m hoping to focus on being more self-sufficient because for most of my life I have relied on other people for my happiness7. I’ve been trying to focus on this though for the last 3 years. Here’s hoping it finally sticks.

Footnotes:
  1. but that is a whole other topic I won’t be getting into right now[]
  2. yes, I mean masturbation[]
  3. by a brand that I’m certain wouldn’t want to be mentioned on a post with such a sexual subject matter[]
  4. not to sound cocky but it’s just a fact[]
  5. masturbating[]
  6. not just mine[]
  7. oh and yes, there is plenty of happiness to be found in masturbation[]

No really, Come Date With Me!

On February 20th, a new show is going to premiere on the W Network. I’m beyond excited. It’s hard for me to write about it because the 300 cartwheels I’ve done, don’t feel like enough. The show is called, Come Date With Me and instead of try to write up a description for it, I’m going to get their words tell you:

Come Date With Me combines the cooking, criticizing and competition of Come Dine With Me Canada and adds a new twist—romance. Four eligible bachelors compete to win the heart of one woman – or vice versa—as they each take her out on fun, adventurous dates then cook for her in their own homes. The catch? These kitchen Casanovas have to cook for their fellow male suitors as well! Our bachelorette rates each date and dinner and the bachelor who captures her heart will share $1000 on the ultimate dream date.

In case you haven’t seen the teaser video yet, you can check it out by clicking on the image below.

Click here to watch the teaser video, featuring me!

It was a super fun week full of  a lot of a giggling girl1, four manly men, delicious food, some2 alcohol and more that… I may or may not remember at this time.

By now, a lot of you have already seen my episode and you already know how it ends. For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, I hope you tune in. It’ll make me smile. You want me to smile, right? My episode first aired on February 9th at 1pm and has played again a few times since3, and it’s airing again TONIGHT at 8pm.

And if you have seen me in the show already, who do *you* think I should have picked?

Footnotes:
  1. Not me. Okay, Maybe me.[]
  2. okay, maybe a lot of[]
  3. There was a viewing party on Feb 12th![]

Love a [fragile]Heart, again!

Love a Heart 2012: The Bachelorettes

It’s February1. You know what that means, right? It’s Heart Month. I’m not going to lie. I was looking forward to it this year. I had a great time last year2 and I know this year will be even better.

Last year, a date with me meant dinner at Fresh & a sexy Yoga class at the Ritz Carlton. Are you wondering what date package will be in my envelope this year? I’d love to tell you before the event, but I’d have to kill you3.

If you haven’t heard about Love a Heart, it’s a fun evening filled with lots of handsome men & women who have donated their time for a great cause. Shannon Hunter started the charity auction in 2011 and has raised $21,000 already; she hopes to bring the amount to $30,000 after the event on Thursday4. You can check out full details on Facebook or you can buy tickets here.

Love a Heart 2013

If you’ve been to Love a Heart in previous years, there have been quite a few changes. Changes you’ll have to attend to discover, of course. I can’t give you all the answers!

No one answered me last year, so I want to ask again: What’s your favourite date activity?

Footnotes:
  1. just in case you failed to notice[]
  2. despite being full of anxious thoughts about not being worthy of being up on stage with such stellar women[]
  3. jokes on you, I don’t actually know[]
  4. February 14th[]

When people surprise you

I’ve been meeting a lot of new people lately, and it’s so… refreshing. I feel like I’m in University all over again, but with more freedom than I did when I was actually in University. It’s pretty freeing to be able to talk about anything and everything with people who have no reason to judge you based on your past, because they simply don’t know it. There’s something about making new friends that’s so great, sort of like starting a new relationship; when you still have the chance to shape it into whatever you want.

When I was younger, I never really paid attention to how my actions in-the-right-now would affect my relationship with people in the long-run. For the most part, I had the tendency to choose1 romance over friendship. There, I said it. Remember all those posts where I wondered why I didn’t have any girl friends. After the last year and a half I’ve certainly realised how stupid I actually was2 for never trying hard enough.

You learn a lot about yourself when you meet new people who are genuinely interested in learning about you. The stories you tell and how you tell them, can show you a lot about yourself that you wouldn’t really learn otherwise. The things I’m learning about myself are definitely things I never imagined I’d be described as, yet I haven’t been disappointed yet3. Of course, there are some things that I know I need to work on but, at least I know.

Speaking of people surprising me; it’s wonderful when you find people who are in the same ‘place’ in their life as you and you can share things that you wouldn’t be able to share with anyone else. I’m excited about enjoying people’s company without thinking I’m in love with them. Not that this has been a problem in the past with girlfriends but rather that I tended to only have male friends and boyfriends so it was hard to see that line between just genuinely enjoying someone’s company, and being in love with them.

Someone once told me that they loved this age4, and I’m honestly beginning to believe them.

How do you feel about meeting/learning new people?

p.s. Happy Friday the 13th5!

Footnotes:
  1. what I thought to be[]
  2. instead of being ‘smart’ like I thought I was[]
  3. Thank goodness![]
  4. I’m 28[]
  5. my favourite day of any year[]