Manic Wednesday?

Driving by

At least that’s what yesterday felt like. It was a long weekend for many in North America. Extra long for me as I took Tuesday off after the holiday Monday. I’m suffering from heavy eyes, a sore neck and sore knees. That’ll teach me to party like I’m still 19. But what fun! I’ve missed having him around and I didn’t even realise just how much I’ve missed him. I mean I knew I missed him but until we got to hang out again… I remembered just how much fun we have together.

We started off the weekend apart; he went to meet with his soccer boys on Friday night and I went out on a night on the town with a girlfriend. Cathy1 and I had a great time and it made me wish we had done it more often this summer. But I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time for that.

Saturday started off a pretty late surprise2 breakfast but we made it down to Niagara Falls in time for a moist walk around and a decent lunch. On the way back from Niagara we stopped off in Hamilton to meet up with Matt1 and hang out with some of his friends. We were meant to go out in Hess3 but I was too tired and wanted to go home – I’m not normally selfish but since I was driving us back, I was entitled to be a bit selfish.

We had planned to go watch the Yankees v the Blue Jays on Sunday, but as it turns out he read the schedule incorrectly. They were playing at Yankee stadium and not The Skydome4 so we just headed on down to the harbourfront to redeem our free harbour tour as offered by an old co-worker of ours. After our wonderful catch-up session on Lake Ontario, we headed on down to Harbour Sports Grille5 for a nostalgic lunch. We headed home to have a nap and some ‘pre-drinks’ before the big party at the Guvernment6. The party was amazing, but I can’t do that as often as I used to.

Monday was a bit of a write-off, I did some housekeeping while he lazed around the house. We slept intermittently. I went to my parents house to drop off some laundry and other things I knew I wouldn’t need for the rest of our stay here. We knew we wanted to reserve our energy for Tuesday.

We woke up early7 and headed down to the Outlet mall in Niagara. Luckily, they didn’t have that much great stuff so we didn’t end up spending a lot of money, but got enough that we didn’t feel like the trip was a waste. We then went off to visit sone wineries8. We got three wineries in, mostly because we didn’t get to do tours at each of them and then we headed off to meet my parents for dinner at our favourite Chinese restaurant in Toronto.

Footnotes:
  1. name has been changed to protect the innocent[][]
  2. that he made for me[]
  3. the ‘party’ town in Hamilton[]
  4. it’s now called The Rogers Centre, but let’s face it: it’ll always be The Skydome[]
  5. aka Sol’s[]
  6. I didn’t mis-spell, they did[]
  7. earlier than he wanted to but I knew we’d take ages to actually get out of the house[]
  8. which I hope to write a whole other post on[]

Temper

WARNING: It’s a long one!

I used to have a terrible temper. Tantrums all over the place. Anyone who knew me when I was younger (so all you Dubai-ans) might possibly remember this about me… but I’ve changed. A lot. Grown up, I guess you could say. I credit a lot of that to him, and I’m extremely happy about it. I used to think that I could never change, and that it was just how I was.

*sigh* The monster reared it’s ugly head this weekend. I don’t necessarily feel wrong in letting it out. In fact, I’m still pretty angry unimpressed with the person about what he did that caused me to explode in the first place…

Lacey’s1 last day was this past Friday so we went out for drinks to celebrate, and after the match, we were all pretty depressed… in particular Martin1 got the look on his face he always does when he gets drunk: emotional, dark, ready to explode at any minute. And I was avoiding talking to him because I don’t like dark, depressed drunks… I myself am a bright and shiny drunk and prefer to stick with fellow bright and shinys. Well, Lacey went over to him because that’s the kind of person she is… and in the midst of the conversation… out of the blue he yells out, “(something)…french fucks” while pointing in the direction of where a group of french people were standing during the match and also kicking the table away from him. Away from him just so happened to be right into me.

I looked up and was about to ask what was wrong when it hit me a second time… and I lost it. I haven’t yelled at anybody like that since I was an angst-filled teen. But it wasn’t just that he hit me. Twice. It was that when he hit me, not once did he apologize. No acknowledgement of physically hurting someone who hasn’t done a thing to him. Someone who he considers a “friend.” And even when I started screaming at him he goes on to accuse me of needing everything to be about me.

In his defense, I found out later on that he had gotten some pretty bad news which gives him every right to be upset.

But I will never, ever defend that kind of behaviour.

I’m upset because he brought that out in me. And because he had the nerve to call me selfish because I felt the need to defend myself against someone I’m supposed to call a friend. I feel I have to decide that it’s just not worth staying friends with someone like that. It would be different if he never made any comments alluding to how sexy he thinks I am when he’s drunk as well. But to be honest, if there’s anything re-connecting has taught me… it’s that NONE of my guy friends from my teens were real friends. Everyone of them who showed any effort in keeping our friendship has confessed to ‘having a crush’ on me on reconnecting.

And even today when he sent me an email at work asking if we’re ‘friends or enemies’… ‘it doesn’t matter but I just want to know’… I felt like I was in a relationship with him. I needed some time to cool down and think about what happened and what I wanted to happen. But now I’ve decided.

There’s only one relationship I want to be in, and that’s with my sweety… and we’re doing wonderfully.

Footnotes:
  1. name has been changed to protect the innocent[][]