Things have been pretty heavy around here lately. I’m smiling and happy, I swear. Don’t believe me? Fine. Humour me then. Let’s pretend you like to have a lot of sex. A lot of sex. You’d rather have sex than eat sometimes1. Well then, you must go through a lot of condoms2. How did you end up choosing your favourite brand? Did you go to the drug store and pick up a pack of 12 love gloves and have to use each one until they were done, and then buy a new pack to try?
Okay so maybe you have one of those cool stores that sell singles near you. Tell me I’m wrong but those places can be intimidating; and also full of loud teenagers too nervous to ask important questions about said singles. Like, “how do I choose the condom that’s right for me3?” I know what you’re thinking, there has to be a better way.
There is. Lucky Bloke is website and one-stop shop whose mission is help you Have Sex and Save The World4. They found me on twitter and asked me if I wanted to review condoms, and much to my partner’s dismay5 I agreed.
I logged in to the site and was a little overwhelmed by my own excitement at first6. Seriously, check out The Condom Review, you’ll see why. Look at all those choices! How was I supposed to pick just one? I wanted them all! I eventually decided on the Japanese Ultrathin Sampler because when it comes to condoms, thin is just more fun. Right?
It arrived in the mail in a small, padded manila envelope with no mention of the word condom or the like7, which was handy since my permanent mailing address is my parents’ home. Of course, they know I have sex at this stage in my life but there’s no need to rub it in their faces. And if you’re into that kind of thing, I won’t judge you8.
I won’t bore you with the details, but after a lot of hard work9 it was time to sit down and relive each experiment in order to decide which condom I liked best. There are many good things to be said for all the condoms in the Japanese Ultrathin Sampler but my favourite one has to be the Kimono Microthin10. There is something they do over at Kimono that makes their condoms just feel amazeballs11. But hey, don’t take my word for it – get your own sampler12!
Looking to find your perfect condom? Visit The Condom Review where you’ll find over 1,000 reviews of the world’s best condoms. As per FTC13 guidelines, I received my sampler free of charge in exchange for my honest assessment of the product.
How did you choose your favourite condom?
- except you’d probably need to eat to keep having lots of sex[↩]
- you better go through a lot of condoms[↩]
- it is an important question dude[↩]
- it says so on the pop up found on their landing page[↩]
- yeah? Did you fall for that one?[↩]
- when you are me, you get used to this feeling pretty quickly[↩]
- discretion for the win![↩]
- okay maybe a little but it comes with lots of love[↩]
- pun not intended[↩]
- partially because it comes in a large size, that is actually large[↩]
- pun also not intended[↩]
- p.s. I ordered two, so don’t go thinking you will get two as well[↩]
- I had to look this up: Federal Trade Guidelines – Consumer protection agency in the USA[↩]