fragileheart's journal

I’m feeling a little lost these days. There are a million thoughts swirling around my head. A bazillion different emotions swirling around my entire body. I want to stay at my job and be left alone to do the little that my job requires. I want to do something I’m passionate about but I feel incompetent to do that. And then I realise that I’m not. But then I’m scared to go and do something about it.

I want to move out of my parents house once and for all, and I don’t want to wait till he gets here to do it. But I don’t have the money to do it. I’ve started saving but its going frustratingly slow. The frustration makes me want to relieve some stress by going shopping. I think I’m independent yet I feel so trapped by so many different things.

I don’t know whether I’m coming or going and I don’t know where to start to figure it all out. There’s nothing anyone can do to help me figure it out yet, I keep racking my brain of the perfect person to talk about it all. I know I should start small, but. Everything I come up with, the other half of me comes up with another ‘but’.

Its a cycle I’m in, and I’m sure I’ll eventually pull myself out of it but I just needed to get some of it out. Thanks for listening.