It’s raining outside. I feel amazing after a run with Dante1, some push-ups, sit-ups and a quick shower. How did he creep into my love for rain? It used to be Franz’s1 thing. Is nothing sacred anymore? Though I’m glad Drake1 and I never actually had any memories in the rain… though I’m not sure there’s anything that could compare to that kiss with Franz. Even now2 I get lost in my thoughts for a good minute or two reliving that passionate moment. If only Franz was as mature emotionally as he was sexually… if only… yadi yadda yadda.
I do wish it had worked out with Franz way back in 1995 but then again, I never would’ve experienced everything I have since then. And they are not the sort of experiences I would wish to do away with. So many boys, then men… and then some boys pretending to be men. Dante asked me a really good question today, ‘when do you think you’ll be ready to get into a serious relationship?’.3 I said, ‘that won’t happen for a very long time… I’m good and broken this time D.’
He seemed to understand. Almost three years ago he got his heart shattered into a million little pieces and was left to pick up the pieces half way across the world without so much as a broom. He’s taken his time, but he’s ready to love again. How’s that for hope? Just when I thought I had lost mine. Knowing that someone like Dante (he has issues – and now add trust issues to that) can be ready.. well, why can’t a hopeless romantic like me? One day… one day…
Until then, I’ll be rambling rather aimlessly for a while so get comfortable.