Happy Birthday dear brother!

Dear brother,

I used to hate you. I hated you until I realised how immature and selfish I was being for doing so. You see, I wasn’t always as mature as I am now1 and I was also spoiled for 7 years being the only child and the first grandchild and the only granddaughter for a while. So when you took my Mummy away from me that Christmas Eve that you were born and put her in the hospital to give birth to you, you can’t really blame me for being jealous of you.

Another reason you can’t blame is because you were so darn cute. I look back now on your baby pictures and I must have known how adorable you were; so much more adorable than I was: with your angel white skin and your dark brown hair and eyes – I must’ve been really worried that Mummy and Daddy weren’t going to love me or want me anymore.

So I fought with you, beat you and made you cry, every chance I got. And now we’re both in our 20’s2, and you’ve never once been mean to me. Sure you get cranky sometimes, but who wouldn’t be when they’re awoken from deep slumber to go out shopping for Mum & Dad’s Christmas presents in the cold, cold winter weather that is Toronto. But you’ve always been a great brother, and even though you’ve learnt a few other bad habits from me… you’ve never been mean to me the way I was mean to you. And for that I thank you.

Without asking you to, you forgave me and for that alone you are the best brother a girl could ever ask for. But there is so much more that makes you awesome3.

I hope we are able to give you a great birthday celebration, even though we’re only driving down to Niagara Falls4. I hope that you get everything that your heart desires and that we are able to celebrate many, many more of your birthdays.

Lots of love,

Your sister.

  1. forgetting the fact that I still have a long way to grow []
  2. albeit, I’m in my late 20’s and you’re celebrating your 21st []
  3. but I’m not going to go on about them either hehehe []
  4. which isn’t quite Las Vegas – where you wanted to go []

Reflections of a fragile heart

I suppose its a bit ironic that I picked the name fragileheart and that it has stuck for so long, because in actuality I’m not that fragile at all. Sure, I get emotional but I’m not, and never will be, weak1. I’m not perfect, nor do I want to be. Perfect is boring. Making mistakes makes life exciting, though that doesn’t mean I make them on purpose.

I try to live my life without regrets… as soon as I realise there is something in my life that I regret, I would prefer to do something to rectify it – even if it feels like its too late. I wasn’t always this way though. I had to learn and change my attitude before I could even begin to embrace this outlook.

There are still so many things I want to work on about myself, but I feel blessed to have gotten to where I am2 at 27. I know I could have probably gotten here sooner if I wasn’t such a spoilt brat of a teen, but I don’t regret it at all. I’ve enjoyed my life thus far. I’m not rich, but I feel so lucky to have lived the life I have lived. And of course, I have my parents to thank for that.

I wouldn’t be half the person I am if it weren’t for my parents. We aren’t close in the sense that I tell my parents everything3, but we’re close in that we do a lot of things together and we enjoy each other’s company. Having been in the kind of relationship with them where I hated them and they saw me as a nuisance, I am able to appreciate what we share now.

I’m also grateful for having such a bad history with boyfriends, because if it weren’t for those relationships4 I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the amazing connection and relationship that I share with him. I also wouldn’t be able to know what it feels like when I’m on the giving end of the kind of behaviour that spells, ‘taking someone for granted’. I’m so lucky to have someone as strong5, talented, brilliant, loving and loyal man in my life… and best yet, to call him mine!

As for the things I have to work on… believe it or not, I am horrible at keeping in touch with people. I know, I know… I’m on the internet so much, how could I be bad at keeping in touch with people? Easy, they don’t blog! I’m on the internet blog surfing, for the most part, so unless you have a blog – you probably won’t hear from me. You would think that sending an email is easy enough, but apparently… it is not.

A few other things I have to work on but that I won’t get into: money management, exercising, and doing what I say I’m going to do6! I’m sure there are many more7 things, but this is all I can think of right now!

My heart may have been fragile once, but its stronger than ever now.

Thanks to everyone who gave me such warm well wishes on my birthday, you guys have no idea how positive of an impact you all make on my life and I love you all for it!

How do you grow?

  1. I don’t like tooting my own horn but I feel that an important part of blogging for me is reflecting on myself and being honest with who I am []
  2. even if I don’t have a ‘career’ to call my own yet []
  3. I have a friend who tells her parents all her boy troubles, I don’t do that []
  4. or lack thereofs []
  5. in every sense of the word []
  6. or just don’t say you’re going to to do something unless its already in the works []
  7. smaller []

Happy Birthday Mummy

I know we’ve had our differences in the past, particularly when I was a troubled teen… but you stuck by me. And for that I thank you. As I grow older and get just a smidge wiser, I realise more and more just what a wonderful person you are and how lucky I am to have such a strong, caring and selfless person as my Mother.

I also want to say that while I don’t have many regrets in my life (because I insist on not having any) there is one thing I can’t help but regret, and that’s how careless I’ve been with money. So much so that now as an adult, I am unable to help you and Dad financially like you continually do with your family – even though you don’t really have enough for yourself. I only hope that it’s not too late for me to get back on track to following in your footsteps.

But for now… I just want to wish you all the best that this day and year can bring. Because you only deserve the best.