A week away from the city

For the last five years my family and I have been camping in various Ontario Parks. We’ve been to Awenda, Silent Lake, Quinte, Sibbald Point and this year we’re checking out Algonquin. I can’t speak for my family, but I look forward to it every year. We book our campsite in February just to make sure we get a good site. Our favourite park is Silent Lake, but we’ve agreed to try a different park every other year. What’s even better is that we have the luxury of checking in on a Sunday, and checking out on a Thursday so we can avoid the crowds.

I feel so blessed though because not only am I getting a chance to go camping for 5 days/4 nights, I’m also going to a friend’s cottage for a couple of nights. A cottage that is honestly just so good for my soul. I’ve been able to spend a lot of time on my balcony, and it’s bee lovely but getting out of the city is incomparable.

I have a few books that I hope to bring with me. I’ll also be bringing my notebook, and I hope to be able to get back into sketching. I really need to get working on finalizing the sketch of my second tattoo after all. Maybe I’ll finally have it this summer.

No matter what happens while I’m away from the city, I am extremely grateful for my upcoming week being able to be one with nature for almost 7 straight days.

It was an emotional return home

Going Home

I’m sure the fact that I wasn’t able to get any sleep on the red-eye flight back to Toronto had a lot to do with it but a few hours after I woke up from my nap to carry on with my Friday afternoon, I became overwhelmed with emotion. There were other factors in play, but they shouldn’t have left me bawling with pure sadness the way I did. I greeted the sadness like an old friend, and let it linger if only for a moment. Once it was gone, I felt a certain kind of zen that I haven’t felt in a long time.

I’m not sure I could live out in British Columbia, but I am changed forever for having been there. It was also emotional because I had allowed myself to forget how much I enjoyed being around the company of the two people I went there to visit. They’re both amazing centres of calm, and love and I adore being around them. I wish I could have stayed longer; next time. Certainly next time.

Snowshoeing the Rainbow Trail in BC

Being out there has also left me with a renewed longing to keep moving. Even though I opened my heart up to joy this year, my body had gotten into the habit of being frozen, and unable to move because I was too sad or depressed to. Though I do wish there was a mountain I could go hiking up right now. There’s something magical about the thinning air, the gorgeous view, the implied solitude that comes with hiking up a mountain rather than a hill that you just can’t replicate in this city1.

The view from Whistler while skiing

I learned a lot of things about myself while I was out on those mountains. I learned that my body is a lot stronger than I think it is, and that I have the tendency to want to give up way too easily. i learned that if I distract myself with pretty sights, and inspiring views and thoughts that I can get through anything. I learned that I am better at practicing techniques when no one is paying attention, and that I get self-conscious when others are giving me instructions and watching. That explains why I taught myself how to ice skate, among many other things in my life.

Emjoying the view from the breakfast hall

I also re-affirmed that for the last two and half years I have been living in fear. I have somehow allowed fear to take the wheel and be the driving force behind most of my decisions. I have been trying to break the habit for the last 3-6 months, but the progress has been slow to say the least. Alas, at least there has been progress. It appears to me that there isn’t going to be a big push out of this one, I am going to have to gradually chip away at it patiently.

One day at a time. One moment at a time.

It’s the best I can do, and that’s all I can ever ask of myself.

Have you ever been to British Columbia? Have you ever been to Whistler? Was it as inspiring to you as it was to me?

  1. I am certain I am not the first person to say this, but it still needs to be said []