Confidence in me

I have confidence in confidence alone. Besides which you see I have confidence in me!

The above lyrics are from a song called, I have confidence, from The Sound of Music soundtrack and I think it fits for a ‘motto’ to my life. Don’t misunderstand though, I know I’m not ‘perfect’ (there’s that word again). I always wanted things to be perfect – including myself. But when I moved to Ireland, I realised it was ok to make mistakes. I always felt the need to have control over everything that went on in the world (yes, the world) and it used to upset me very much if someone so much as neglected to signal a lane change. But all that has changed….

I have more patience, and this new-found patience has given me more confidence because I know that as long as I’m trying my darnedest I can be proud of my accomplishments. As I’ve mentioned before (and I am working on getting a microphone so I can post a clip of this), I’m pretty good but obviously I wasn’t good enough because I didn’t get far enough to get on TV for the Canadian Idol auditions. And I used to be deeply saddened by this… but I’m not any longer. At least I have a little bit of talent to get me through. At least I was given the gift of loving music!

I also have some talent for design and coding. But I obviously wasn’t good enough to get into the Graphics Communications Management program at Ryerson when I applied, and is the reason I got my Bachelor’s Degree in Hospitality & Tourism Management instead. And just like with the singing, I used to be deeply saddened by the fact that I’m not good enough to make poeple’s head’s turn with my creations, but I’m not any longer. At least I can still have my blog and design when I feel like it rather than be pressured by deadlines and what not.

Another area I suppose I should talk about is my love life, I used to be really insecure in relationships. I would always come up with reasons for my current bf to hate me1 and always think that they were cheating or just about to leave me2. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown to realise that the person I’m with is just as insecure as I am – no matter how confident they seem. And this realization has given me the confidence to be in a healthy, trusting, caring relationship.

Having confidence allows you to have conviction, and it allows other people to have confidence in you. And I firmly believe that having confidence enables you to do anything you want, and that in turn gives you confidence.

Do you have self-confidence? Did you always?

  1. in my mind []
  2. when in reality I was the one always cheating, but that’s for another day []