This is an ode (to the last of the lie).
When you start to get to know someone; when you start to build a foundation for your relationship, you create certain stories together – most of them are true, at least in the context of your lives when you’re building.
When a relationship ends, after the turmoil, the pain, and the grieving is over sometimes there is this hope that remains. Hope that there was something about that foundation you built that is strong enough that maybe one day you could share that same bond again, or any bond – perhaps something that resembles a friendship1.
Sometimes though, the stories are too far from the truth and you just have to let go of the last of the lie. This doesn’t make either of you a bad person. The lies were true when they were being told. They just weren’t truths you wanted to keep, so you let the truths go. And you begin to live other truths that sometimes contradict the truths you once owned.
And then there are other times when there’s something about that ‘lie’ that’s sticky. It clings on to the core of you and insists on providing you with glimpses of hope that the lie is worth holding on to. So you wait it out. And you wait, and wait. You find other things to focus on because as the light of the ‘lie’ grows fainter every day, you need other light sources. So you look forward, and fill your life with the light of things that don’t remind you that you once allowed someone to treat you like you deserved anything less than respect.
One day, you’ll be ready. You’ll look back on the ‘lie’ and be able to wish it the farewell it deserves. And you’ll be free to really move on.
Unti then, just breathe.
- something to truly be treasured. It isn’t a consolation prize to romance [↩]