The importance of self-love

[Only because I haven’t talked about this kind of stuff since the condom reviews, I feel like I should warn you… the subject matter is sexual. Consider yourself warned]

I was raised Roman Catholic. No one taught me about sex. I discovered everything I know about that subject all on my own. Okay maybe I had the the help of a few people1. Despite all the ‘experience’ I had though, I didn’t really discover the benefits of self-love2 until a few years ago. Benefits that I am happily taking advantage of due to a combination of a recent change in my situation, as well as the realization that I am no longer interested in being intimate with any warm body.

Recently, I got to be Joanna‘s plus one at a really fun event3 and while we were sipping champagne and browsing through their awesome selection we got to talking about masturbating and how important it is for so many reasons. It’s an important part of knowing your body; knowing how to please yourself and when the time comes, knowing how to help someone else please you. It’s also a wonderful buffer to prevent yourself from becoming intimate with the wrong person.

I have to be honest that the appeal of playing with only myself was never there for me. When you consider the fact that I have never had an issue finding someone who was willing to ‘do the job’4 it’s easy to understand why. Now that I’m in my 30s though, ‘the game’ has gotten so old and having to rely on someone else has become far less appealing. Sure, I still enjoy a long play session with someone worthwhile from time to time but it actually makes it more fun if those long sessions aren’t as frequent as they used to be. Even better that in between I get to enjoy some quality time with myself.

There is one other benefit that I wish I had known about while I was in my 20s. Since I am no longer plagued by this problem, I can freely talk about the fact that when I was in my 20s I often found it difficult to avoid getting intimate with someone too soon. I don’t regret anything I did, by any means, but I’m certainly glad I was able to change that about myself. Things never work out the way I want when i sleep with someone on the first, or even the second date.

It isn’t until recently that I discovered how integral it5 is to preventing pre-mature intimacy when you’re still getting to know someone. I mean… all those dates I went on when I was feeling lonely or horny and I decided to sleep with the guy on the first date just because I had an itch that needed to be scratched? I just think about all the heart-break6 that could have been avoided… and I do feel bad. However, It’s my policy not to live with regret though; learn the lesson and move on, right?

Some people might think it’s sad, but I really don’t think it has to be. I think it’s a great supplement to a healthy sex-life. I even know some people who are incapable of pleasing themselves on their own, and I think it’s really unfortunate. But everyone has their own problems… who am I to judge?

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Now more than ever, I’m hoping to focus on being more self-sufficient because for most of my life I have relied on other people for my happiness7. I’ve been trying to focus on this though for the last 3 years. Here’s hoping it finally sticks.

  1. but that is a whole other topic I won’t be getting into right now []
  2. yes, I mean masturbation []
  3. by a brand that I’m certain wouldn’t want to be mentioned on a post with such a sexual subject matter []
  4. not to sound cocky but it’s just a fact []
  5. masturbating []
  6. not just mine []
  7. oh and yes, there is plenty of happiness to be found in masturbation []

Joanna Haughton: one of the hardest working women I know

She writes everyday, takes care of a handful of a baby girl, keeps a wonderful home for her rock star1 husband and manages to look amazing the entire time. Joanna Haughton is an actress, tv hostess and martial artist. I met her through Victoria Murdoch2 and am so glad I have her in my life.

She started writing her blog, Moda Mama, not long after she gave birth to her beautiful baby girl. She recently finished an 85 dress challenge, where3 she had to wear a different dress for 85 days without repeating one. It was partially a way to try to see what she could get rid of from her closet and also a challenge to herself to put together different looks.

I’ve been meaning to write about her since she started the 85 dress challenge but there has been a lot going on in life that kept me from writing on this blog4. If you like fashion delivered by a quirky but amazing sense of humour, visit Moda Mama and get hooked.

  1. tee hee []
  2. who is another one who falls into the category of ‘hardest working women I know’ []
  3. just in case it wasn’t clear []
  4. at all []