Goodbye 2009

Two thousand and nine. What a heck of a year. Sure, nothing significant happened until May of this year but it pretty much snowballed from there. I move out of my parents’ place and quickly learned what it means to really use your toiletries1. It has certainly made me look at money in a very different way than I ever used to. I still own a lot of different bottles of whatever but most of it are from clothing swaps2. At first I got saddened by the reality of my “poverty”3, but I quickly realised how much worse it could be and that this was the price I was paying for my independence. Not that I ever had issues with independence when I was living with my parents in the sense that they were very trusting and allowed me to come and go as I pleased BUT they were also always around to bail me out4.

So even though I’ve had this resolution for the last few years, I know that thanks to the consumer proposal I filed earlier this year I will actually be able to say that I have made a dent in the debts that I owe.

The next significant thing to happen, was not a pleasant event in the least but I would be lying if I said that nothing good came from it. Breaking up is always hard to do but I think it definitely gave me the courage to be open with what I want, and5 begin being honest with myself about what I want. I don’t know how I managed to do it but even in the five years I was in my last relationship I learned to be sure enough of myself to know that it’s okay to want what I want, and that I may even deserve it. I’m not sure when it started but every relationship I started, started with doubt for me. I doubted myself, and what I had to offer a relationship and the person I was in the relationship with. Naturally, I didn’t want to freak out the guy I just started seeing so I never said anything and held it all in. What a way to start a relationship right?

Well, the next resolution for this year would be to not be in a relationship unless it really makes sense for both of us6. If I’m not ready, and he is then too bad because I’m not ready. If I’m ready and he’s not, then too bad because he’s not ready. I can only hope that I am able to only keep dating people who are able to be honest with themselves and with me so that I can keep this resolution. I realise this might be a really hard one to keep since it relies on other people but that’s another thing I think I need to learn to do: rely on people.

I don’t like to rely on people because, people can let you down. But more often than not they actually surprise and delight you, but only if you let them. So resolution number 37 is to let people in.

Many people have told me about friends of theirs who have regaled stories or have told me themselves about how the 28th year of their life was a significant one for them. I felt it before anyone said anything to me the night I turned 28 and I’m feeling it even more as the months pass by. And as many of you know, I desire to make the world better for8 the people I care about the most9 and I figured that I can only do that by first taking care of myself. So yes, these resolutions are about me. But they’re about all of you indirectly.

And with that I just want to say thanks to you for still being here through this turmoil I’ve been through in the last little while10. I hope that your 2009 was a memorable one – whether there were hardships or not – and that it only helped you become the wonderful person I know that you are11. I hope too that the beginning of the next decade brings nothing but prosperity, love and understanding for you and everyone you love.

What are some of your New Year’s resolutions?

  1. to the very last drop []
  2. yes, we bring more than just clothes []
  3. obviously, this is a horrible word to use because at least I still have a roof over my head and food in my belly but can I please have this one… just this once?? []
  4. financially []
  5. at the very least []
  6. myself and whoever this dude might be []
  7. for those keeping track []
  8. at the very least []
  9. uh, yes I realise I tend to care a lot about a lot of people []
  10. even though you don’t comment, I know you’ve been here so thank you []
  11. and don’t you dare let anyone tell you otherwise []

“Lest we forget”

I may not agree with war, and I may not have been alive for any of the wars to understand what they went through. But I don’t think I need to be to give them my thoughts on Remembrance Day1. I could lie and say that part of the reason I chose the color scheme for my birthday party was for Remembrance Day, but I won’t – though it did cross my mind when I was buying my red Gerbera Daisies.

Remembrance Day is one of those days that always fills me with such great appreication for the great men and women who sacrificed their lives for everybody else. Even the ones who survived and came back were never the same. I’m not sure if they knew what they were getting into… or whether, if they did would they have gone anyway? But it doesn’t matter, the point is they went and we need to honour them by remembering.

I’ll admit I don’t know the name of a single person who I should be remembering, but2 I believe that a person’s soul doesn’t have a name but it certainly has character and there’s a collective characteristic that all those involved share; I think that their souls’ are what is important to remember. So I remember their efforts, their sacrifices and their hearts.

Of course, we also have to remember those who are in Afghanistan3; I hope they stay safe – even though I know that’s extremely difficult over there.

Do you remember?

  1. or any other day I so choose []
  2. ok, for those cynical people out there – there’s spiritual talk coming []
  3. at least us Canadians []

Flickr Friday: Chicago Airport

Chicago AirportWow, what a boring title. A lot of my older photos will have boring titles because I simply didn’t care – and I’ve been too lazy to change them. So you’re stuck with this one. This photo was taken when I had a 6+ hour layover in Chicago Airport on one of my many trips to Dublin, Ireland. I chose it for today’s Flickr Friday in celebration of the fact that I will be booking my trip to Dublin for New Year’s!

It’s not a long standing tradition, but it’s been a tradition since I met him in 2004 that our group of friends celebrates New Year’s by driving to another part of Ireland, rentind holiday homes and partying for 3-4 days. Since I had already gone over for a holiday in May, I didn’t think I was going to be going this New Year’s but his recent visit over made me realise that it was insane of me not to do so. We1 don’t have many more years before doing this sort of thing is out of the question. Once marriage and families come into the picture it’s harder to gather a group of our size and go away and party for 3 days straight.

Already this year, one couple from the group will not be able to make it since they’ll be in the U.S., and they’ll be sorely missed – but the show must go on. I only hope its worth it; I was originally planning on only going for 7 days but as it turns out the flights are cheaper if I stay for 10 days. Of course that means I’ll end up spending more money because I’ll be there longer – but hopefully it won’t be too bad.

Oops, I guess I should talk about the photo a little bit: I felt quite lucky getting this photo, and if you read the comment that afewscoops left on the photo page you’ll know why. It was taken in 2005 so security should have been strict, but I was still able to snap this beauty. Its not as clear as I would like it but I still like it. I hope you do too!

  1. the group []