Best friend

Central Park TrioWhat does it mean to be a best friend? It means sharing everything, right down to your last thoughts of the day. It means knowing that when you’re home on a Friday night, there will be someone available to call and invite over for a last minute movie. It means that no matter how stupid, you’ll know someone will listen to your whining.

Being someone’s best friend doesn’t mean thinking they’re the best person all the time. It doesn’t mean that you’ll always agree with them either. It doesn’t mean that you’ll always like her choice for a boyfriend. But it does mean that she can always count on you to1 be there for her.

As I grew older, I realised what I had been doing wrong all this time when looking for a ‘best friend’, I was looking for someone I could stand to be with at all times. Someone I’d never fight with, or have to fight with. But obviously, that’s impossible… being bestfriends is not about being able to avoid arguments, its still being there even after things take a turn for the worse.

We haven’t quite we’ve found each other yet, but I’m pretty sure we’ve already met. There are a few contenders, and I’m not limiting myself to one, I’m just glad I’ve finally realised what it means to be or have a bestfriend. I used to think it was as easy as growing up with someone and having something in common2 with them. But I now know that like anything that is worthwhile it requires work, dedication, and determination.

I’m sure there are many reasons my life has turned out the way that it has, and I’d like to think that the reason I focused so much on ‘boys’ when I was younger was because I wasn’t ready for a responsibility as big as keeping a bestfriend. I may be too ‘old’ to have come to this realisation, but I know I’m ready.

Do you have a bestfriend? How long have you been bestfriends? What makes that person your bestfriend? Will you be bestfriends forever?3

Footnotes:
  1. really[]
  2. together[]
  3. tee hee sorry I couldn’t resist[]

responses to “Best friend” 26

  1. Pingback: Flickr Friday: It's my party and I'll cry if I want to! | fragileheart.com | journal
  2. Silly woman…of course I remember your purple hair, and the dream of you riding a white stallion in the snow with your hair streaming in the wind – I am the walrus… and I remember everything .-)

    Greggys latest..Over…

  3. @Karen: It’s difficult when you and your childhood bestfriend don’t grow together and instead grow apart. At least you’re still friends who exchange Christmas Cards, I’m sure you still have a special place in your heart for her, and she for you. Having your husband for a bestfriend is a wonderful gem 🙂

  4. @Peri: Your wife is lovely 🙂 I can see why she’s your bestfriend. And thanks for telling me your password is
    ******* now we’re all bestfriends!

    @Greggy: I can’t believe you rememberd my purple hair! I had forgotten about it! Man what a crazy teenager I was. You’re so right though, patience is definitely required in acquiring and maintaining a ‘bestfriendship’ 🙂

    @Atrais (Oyvind): I’m sure you two will be best friends forever. It’s so nice having that one person isn’t it? Like I said on the EC forum: Your wife is lucky… you’re both lucky to have each other!

    @Cherry: 25 years is a long time 🙂 You guys could celebrate the Silver anniversary of your friendship!

    @Trench: See, I knew you had to have one!!

  5. I have a bestfriend and we’ve been friends for more than 25 years now and I think we’ll be friends forever. She’s my exact opposite but we mesh well.

    cherrys latest..dailies: turning 4-0

  6. I met my best friend when I was 18. He moved into our neighbourhood and I knocked on their door to ask if he had Amiga. (he first thought I was insane for doing that) Since then we were together every day. (until we go families). I drank my first beer with him, did silly stuff that I can’t write on internet, we quarrel because we’re equally stubborn and are kind of very different from each other. But yet we are like hand in glove.

    I hope we are friends for life, we doesn’t see each other as much now but when we do its like we met the day before. No problem catching up. We can talk about anything, no need to hide anything, no intrigues except when he have our short quarrels. Like which is most intelligent, cats or dogs. 🙂 We laugh about it afterwords.

  7. In such a spread out world as we live in today a “best friend” is a hard commodity to hold on to. Still there are people who just make us feel right. Sometimes it can be as simple as they look they give you – even if it’s a look delivered “over the phone.” Pauses between words delivered like little innuendos… that allow us to see each other in the minds eye even if it’s not with the naked eye.
    Sometimes it’s obvious to see who are best friends are… and then again sometimes a best friend is like the proverbial pearl… years slip by and suddenly you realize they’re still there. Listening and sometimes smiling when you mention a name and say something like “oh yeah that guy… I remember when he used to ride over to see you on a bicycle – as I recall you had purple hair then.” Sometimes it takes a while to recognize who some of our “best friends” are but the best thing about a best friend is that they are patient. Incredibly patient.
    Of course finding girls with purple hair and poetry in their soul makes the wait worthwhile .-)

    Greggys latest..Already it begins…

  8. @france: You’re very welcome and welcome to fragileheart.com too. Glad you like my pictures – stay tuned for this week’s Flickr Friday!

    @CK: That’s a great sentiment; and definitely one of the things I like about some of the people that I feel are contenders to being my best friend 🙂

    @france: Oops.. I keep forgetting to write a note somewhere on the blog that if your comment doesn’t show up it’s been held under moderation. Thanks for commenting again 😉

    @Trench: That’s still the same concept I would apply to a bestfriend, I guess bestfriend is just a more extreme and ultimate term whereas close friend might be more realistic. Glad to hear you’ve got people who’ve got your back!

  9. I’m not really into the whole “BEST FRIEND” deal. It just sounds kinda strange to me.

    I do have a couple really “close friends” however. They are the people who will jump at a minutes notice even if its 3am and I need their help. They’ll drop everything to listen to me when I need to be listened to. They’ll lend me a couple thousand dollars without any questions knowing I will pay it back.

    I have a friend whom I’ve known since we were six years old. We are 30 now and still keep in contact quite often. Its pretty cool.

    trenchs latest..Hip Hop Mongul Dr. Dre mourns his sons Death

  10. Thanks for responding to my post.You’ve got really good pictures yourself. Hope to see more. Take care. Always 🙂

  11. Another thing you can add to your best friend qualification is one who remains there through the years.

    My longest best friend is Tina. We have been best friends since 5th grade – that’s 21 years and counting!

    I have always been careful in calling one a best friend as to me, it’s not a simple thing. As your life and you change so does your ‘best friend’ needs. That is where you can have ‘bf’s that are totally different from each other. That’s ok.

    You know what’s funny, I have been writing posts about friends too for 2 days (just haven’t posted them yet). We seem to be on the same wave length hehehe.

    Take care! Is he there yet?

  12. @Rudy: Hahaha Why didn’t you tell me your password was *********? You’re the best friend ever!!

    @mspennylane: I thought that too and it’s sad but the girl that was my best friend in Uni is now married and living 3 hours away which makes it very difficult to be best friends with her (especially since I’m horrible at making phone calls). But I hope that your friends from Uni and you will be best friends forever 😀

    @Ate Maeyo: I guess it helps to have stayed in the same country for longer than I have. As I said in my comment to mspennylane, because I’m so bad at phone calls and emails it’s hard to keep in touch with people across the seas. Thank goodness for our blogs or I’d never be able to keep in touch with you! Yes, he’s here!! Glad to see great minds still think alike ;D

  13. It is true I think that there is a lot to being someone’s best friend… I had a number of ‘best friends’ when I was younger but seem to have drifted apart and moved on which made me quite sad. But now I know the kind of people who I really want to be friends with and I hope my friends from uni will be my best friends 🙂

    mspennylanes latest..What Blogging Has Done for Me in 100 Posts

  14. I think it’s hard to find one friend that can be all things for you. I have two different friends that I would call best friends. I do different things with them and tell different secrets to them. Both, I have been friends with for about 10 years. And both, it took a few years of shared experiences to grow into best friends.

    haleyhughess latest..Doodle Earth

  15. My bestest of best friends is my husband. He takes top prize in that category.

    However, the select people I do have as best friends will indeed be that forever and ever. And I like that we don’t have to be around each other all the time… and we don’t even have to speak everyday.

    I am still looking though for that ONE person (besides my husband) who can have the official title. The one I know I can honestly count on when I am down and out and in desperate need of an ear or shoulder. Or someone I can just call to shoot the shit with. She’s out there somewhere, and like you, I think I may have already met her 🙂

  16. Most of my friends are females, and one of them was my best friend. For feminine guys like me, however, it’s hard to keep their friends, because once they (females) get married, it’s done.

  17. @Michael: I used to be the same as you (except most of my friends were male), but I soon realised that most of them were only friends with me because they were attracted to me and not because they really wanted to be friends so I started making more of an effort to be friends with females.

    @Monique: Yeah, I used to think that being someone’s bestfriend meant that you had to spend all your time together but I guess that’s for when you’re 7 😉 You’re very lucky to have your husband (and vice versa of course)!

    @Haley: Having two best friends sounds like a dream, if one ever annoys you…hehe, you can complain about her to the other best friend! lol I kid, I kid!

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