Last night, I saw an opportunity to move on and in my drunken state I saw myself being really happy and being really taken care of. He looked at me in such a tender way from across the room. He never said anything but I knew by the way he would look at me and smile every time he entered the room I was in. And when I left at 5:45 in the early morning, he held on to my hand and squeezed it, as if to say… stay with me. But as happy as I was last night, enjoying the bongo and group rendition of “With or Without You”, and the company of some pretty cool people… all I could think about was how much I missed him.
I think it’s pretty safe to say that it’s hopeless, and what makes me okay with this is the fact that I’ve been able to find happiness with other people despite not having him in my life. Which to me right now, is more valuable than if everything worked out beautifully. But that’s not to say that I don’t want it to ever work out between us 😉 All I’m saying is that right now… I’m perfectly fine where I am even though I miss him so damn much.