My current job puts me in contact with a million people on any given day. That translates into a gazillion problems, thoughts, whatevers. I have never been a phone person and even though I’m very social, I like my alone time. I like putting my head down and getting the job done. But when getting the job done means I have to be in constant contact with people – I just want to go home and work out, listen to my music and pretend the world doesn’t exist. But I have friends, and you can’t keep friends without spending time with them. And since my friends are more important than my desire to shut the world out, I make time for them.
But now… I’m feeling a little burnt out, socially. And here’s another but; Whenever I try and spend any given time with myself I just end up missing someone I can’t contact1. I want to be alone, but every time I am alone all I want to do is cry. Sonofabitch. I want to stop feeling sorry for myself though so I will keep making plans with friends, and finding things to volunteer for… all so I don’t have to spend time with myself. Except that, that’s what I really want to do.
Want to go around that circle with me again?
- by my own self-imposed rules[↩]