Patience

Sometimes, you just need to let go. It’s all well and good to want to be in control1, but it’s even better when you’re able to recognize when it’s time to let go. Letting go doesn’t have to mean that you’re giving up. Letting go could mean that you’re allowing things to happen as they will. And though you hold on to hope that things will end the way you want them to, you make peace in the knowledge that they might not.

For the last little while I’ve been driving myself crazy trying to figure out how to get what I want out of… well… so many parts of my life. But I think that I’ve done what I can. I think it’s time I realize that s0metimes the more I try to do, the worse I make things for myself. So I say, ‘Fly little bird, fly’. Fly.

I feel like I’m transforming2. Slowly. I feel nauseated most days yet determined to keep moving. To produce. To Make. To keep on running. I’m caught somewhere in between ‘autopilot’ and ‘bumper car’3 and I don’t really see an end anytime soon. I’m ok with it. I suppose you could call it limbo but I’d prefer to call it the waiting room at the spa4.

Thing is, I came in on a Saturday before Christmas and they’re busy as heck so I don’t know when I’ll get what I want5. Thankfully, I have my laptop and charger with me6 and I’m able to do something more productive than read their magazines. There’s no point in getting upset, either. So I wait patiently and make peace with the knowledge that if I get sent home empty handed, I’ll deal with the loss then. There’s no sense in mourning the loss now before I’ve even lost it. Sometimes, you just have to have patience.

How patient are you? Do you think it’s possible for someone to be driven and patient at the same time?

Footnotes:
  1. and to be in control most of the time[]
  2. like a caterpillar or something…?[]
  3. I bet you didn’t know there was a setting for that did you?[]
  4. mostly because it just sounds more pleasant[]
  5. ha, who does, right?[]
  6. and I have a good internet connection[]

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