Reflections of a fragile heart

I suppose its a bit ironic that I picked the name fragileheart and that it has stuck for so long, because in actuality I’m not that fragile at all. Sure, I get emotional but I’m not, and never will be, weak1. I’m not perfect, nor do I want to be. Perfect is boring. Making mistakes makes life exciting, thoughย that doesn’t mean I make them on purpose.

I try to live my life without regrets… as soon as I realise there is something in my life that I regret, I would prefer to do something to rectify it – even if it feels like its too late. I wasn’t always this way though. I had to learn and change my attitude before I could even begin to embrace this outlook.

There are still so many things I want to work on about myself, but I feel blessed to have gotten to where I am2 at 27. Iย know I could have probably gotten here sooner if I wasn’t such a spoilt brat of a teen, but I don’t regret it at all. I’ve enjoyed my life thus far. I’m not rich, but I feel so lucky to have lived the life I have lived. And of course, I have my parents to thank for that.

I wouldn’t be half the person I am if it weren’t for my parents. We aren’t close in the sense that I tell my parents everything3, but we’re close in that we do a lot of things together and we enjoy each other’s company. Having been in the kind of relationship with them where I hated them and they saw me as a nuisance, I am able to appreciate what we share now.

I’m also grateful for having such a bad history with boyfriends, because if it weren’t for those relationships4 I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the amazing connection and relationship that I share with him. I also wouldn’t be able to know what it feels like when I’m on the giving end of the kind of behaviour that spells, ‘taking someone for granted’. I’m so lucky to have someone as strong5, talented, brilliant, loving and loyal man in my life… and best yet, to call him mine!

As for the things I have to work on… believe it or not, I am horrible at keeping in touch with people. I know, I know… I’m on the internet so much, how could I be bad at keeping in touch with people? Easy, they don’t blog! I’m on the internet blog surfing, for the most part, so unless you have a blog – you probably won’t hear from me. You would think that sending an email is easy enough, but apparently… it is not.

A few other things I have to work on but that I won’t get into: money management, exercising, and doing what I say I’m going to do6! I’m sure there are many more7 things, but this is all I can think of right now!

My heart may have been fragile once, but its stronger than ever now.

Thanks to everyone who gave me such warm well wishes on my birthday, you guys have no idea how positive of an impact you all make on my life and I love you all for it!

How do you grow?

Footnotes:
  1. I don’t like tooting my own horn but I feel that an important part of blogging for me is reflecting on myself and being honest with who I am[]
  2. even if I don’t have a ‘career’ to call my own yet[]
  3. I have a friend who tells her parents all her boy troubles, I don’t do that[]
  4. or lack thereofs[]
  5. in every sense of the word[]
  6. or just don’t say you’re going to to do something unless its already in the works[]
  7. smaller[]

responses to “Reflections of a fragile heart” 17

  1. I’m not good in keeping in touch with my friends too. When I have the time to on my MSN, they would ask,”why do you seldom online?” Well, I do online quite often but I seldom turn on the MSN. And I so wish to tell them to read my blog whenever they ask about my life. I just hate to say the same thing over and over again. ๐Ÿ˜›

    wiehannes latest..Shop for silver jewellery online

  2. @Michael: hehe It was me once upon a time. Stop getting me excited for 2.7!!

    @Monica: Thank you for being here for me to share with you! Glad to hear you’re the same ๐Ÿ™‚ hugs x3 right back at ya!

    @Penny: Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚ I see a lot of myself when I was younger in you. Though I feel you’re more level-headed than I was LOL If you could read my older posts, you’ll find me a much more whiny person than I am now! lol

    @Ken: Dear Ken ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t always understand the words that you say but I always know where it comes from lol What wheel are you on about?!

  3. Great post Reg. I admire the way you can look back and try to change things you regret when it feels too late – I want to be more like that. But as you know, I’m also learning and changing every day ๐Ÿ™‚ it’s great to enjoy the company of your parents. When you don’t have your boyfriend around and you start to see your friends less than you used to it is a very important thing! I’m glad you don’t have a fragile heart anymore…

  4. As usual, so very well said. Thank you for sharing with us.

    When we look back realize everything we’ve been through has made us this perfect person we are today (yes, even flaws are perfect) I personally become so greatful!

    Hugs hugs hugs!

    Mon

    Monicas latest..Sanctuary – Almost Done

  5. I always wonder why you “nicknamed” yourself fragile heart ๐Ÿ˜€ It’s good to know that it’s not the real you

    Ps: Man, I’m gonna miss doing that “@..” thing on the comments! Love WordPress 2.7 with its threaded comments ๐Ÿ˜€

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